Coming out of the Closet

We assume sex to be something natural and that it is something which everyone at a point of time will be doing. We talk about it in hushed whispers, about how it’s going to be the penultimate achievement. The highs we will get, the exhilaration of the orgasm , the limits of role play, the websites for porn , masturbating in closed rooms and exploring yourself sexually. But I met a friend , who said hesitantly , you might find it weird , but I find sex gross.I think she was afraid that I was going to judge her, I might have but I don’t know what came over me and I did not. This very friend told me about BoJack Horseman and that show was just the beginning of my education to the LGBTQIA+ dictionary with the talk about being aro (aromantic)/ ace (asexual).

But I met a friend , who said hesitantly , you might find it weird , but I find sex gross.I think she was afraid that I was going to judge her, I might have but I don’t know what came over me and I did not.

As we move into LGBT Awareness month, let’s talk about our sexuality, a topic we have for long kept in the closet. Forsythe Pendleton “Jughead” Jones III, Todd Chavez & Varys, what do these people have in common? At the first glance it would seem nothing, but a deeper knowledge makes us aware to the fact that these guys are asexual. Asexuality as a concept eludes us, heck most of us are confused about our sexuality for the lack of literature and education surrounding us. A conventional pattern of life where sex is something we will eventually participate in is seen as normal. It what we have seen our parents follow as have they seen their parents.

Forsythe Pendleton “Jughead” Jones III, Todd Chavez & Varys, what do these people have in common?

It’s not surprising that people are often clueless about the concept of asexuality, for Asexuals(also called as Aces) make up for 1% of the total population of the world , roughly 75 million people. The Asexual Visibility and Education Network(AVEN) defines asexual people as one who does not experience sexual attraction – they are not drawn to people sexually and do not desire to act upon attraction to others in a sexual way.

Asexuals(also called as Aces) make up for 1% of the total population of the world , roughly 75 million people.

For those pondering over the difficulty of placing themselves in a spectrum, sexual attraction is not the end of the road, there’s a lot more to it. A person can be attracted to another aesthetically(liking the way they look)sensually(wanting to hold, cuddle or kiss them) romantically(having a desire for a romantic relationship with them) platonically(wanting to be friends with them)or even emotionally( wanting an emotional connection with someone).

Sexual attraction is not the end of the road, there’s a lot more to it.

Aces may have a libido(sex drive)or sexual desire but don’t experience sexual attraction. Some asexual people may experience little or no arousal and they are known as non – libidoist asexuals. They can identity as bi, gay while still identifying with being asexual. Asexuality isn’t celibacy or abstinence, while people choose to abstain from sex, being asexual isn’t a choice. Graysexual is a term that covers the fluid area between people who are sexual and people who aren’t.

Asexuality isn’t celibacy or abstinence, while people choose to abstain from sex, being asexual isn’t a choice.

When you judge people for finding sex as weird , not getting the same joys as watching a passionate sex scene as you do , you are being allosexist. Allosexism is defined as the societal , institutional and individual beliefs and practices that assumes that everyone experiences or should experience sexual attraction. DON’T BE ALLOSEXIST . This is all new to us, so while people figure out who they are, the least the rest of us can do is be respectful of their choices. The scraping of section 377 of the Indian Penal Code was just the beginning and we have got a long way to go. Live and let live.

Allosexism is defined as the societal , institutional and individual beliefs and practices that assumes that everyone experiences or should experience sexual attraction. DON’T BE ALLOSEXIST .

Happy Pride Month to all

Written by Ritika Ahuja

Instagram : ritikaaahuja_